Monday, September 26, 2011

Beijing Cabbies and Youthful Beauty

Papa Lai had heard some of my stories about Beijing cab drivers and tried to obtain some of the stories and insights while he was visiting China's bustling capital.  But he and Mama Lai were not able to achieve some of my more interesting results and Mama Lai said:
"Of course [Papa Lai] we are not as good to look at as our daughter.  They look at the rearview mirror and see old face.  Old face so ugly.  Young pretty face, anything sounds good.  Old face says something and it sounds boring."

Monday, September 19, 2011

Safety First

Mama Lai came to stay with me at my apartment.  While I was at work, Mama Lai rang me (and it is very rare that Mama Lai ever calls me, especially at work):
"I have something important to tell you.  Before I forget."
Bracing myself the worst, I told her to hurry up and tell me.  Mama Lai said:
"I just took a shower in your bathroom.  And your tub is very slippery.  And there is an incline.  Last month I read about a girl who slipped in the shower and hit her head and was in a coma.  You have to get a bath mat for your tub.  Otherwise you will be unconscious.  Don't forget or it will be your own fault."

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Visit to First Daughter - Upon Landing

Mama Lai and Papa Lai came to visit me in China.  They arrived at 8pm and when they walked into my apartment, Mama Lai's first words were:
"Where's your bed?"
I directed her to the bedroom and then she called me in:
"Your housekeeper is not doing a good job scrubbing your sink.  I can tell you have not scrubbed your sink since moving in." 
And then dissatisfied with my reaction she said:
"I'm going to bed.   See you tomorrow." 
And Papa Lai walked into the apartment and said:
"Why is it so hot here? I like your couch.  I'm going to sleep there tonight.  Open a window."
Papa Lai curled up and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

And then they woke me up at 6am to take them to breakfast.  

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Little Prince and his Wicked Sisters

Mama Lai was perplexed over the Little Prince and why he has not brought a girlfriend home to seek her approval.  I pondered over what kind of girls the Little Prince might like and Mama Lai said:
"[The Little Prince] like small, cute girls who speak 'giligooloogiligooloo' that are very sweet and nice.  Basically, girls who are nothing like his two mean sisters."

Monday, September 12, 2011

Stuck for Life

I was having one of those days where Mama Lai couldn't say anything without annoying me.  Mama Lai knew enough to leave me alone, but had these parting words:
"I know, I know...I can be so annoying, but you know what?  You stuck with me.  You've no choice.  I am your mommy for LIFE."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Punishment by Exercise

I told Mama Lai that I accidentally got off on the wrong floor of the elevator and was caught by a young Chinese couple who thought I was trying to break into their home.  Mama Lai laughed at me and said:
"You should run nine flights of stairs as punishment!  Lose weight and be better person!"

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Brand of Justice

Mama Lai saw that I posted this YouTube Video on my Facebook:
Mama Lai said:
"That is so annoying what he is doing.  He should go to jail." 

Monday, September 5, 2011

US Open

Mama Lai walked into the room while the Little Prince was watching the US Open.
"What?  Who is that person with the weird hair?"
The Little Prince, without looking up from the the screen, replied:  "That's Djokovic.  He's the No. 1 seed at the US Open".
"Well, he's on TV and he should do something about that weird hair." 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Wearing Clothes

Whenever I return home, Mama Lai will start making me play dress-up.  Mama Lai and me around the same height and build and she will pull from her closet all of her recently acquired items and make me model them out for her.
"You should take this.  And this.  You are still wearing old clothes!  You need more NEW clothes."
And I will protest knowing that Mama Lai bought these clothes for herself.  And Mama Lai responds:
"I'm old.  All clothes look better on young people.  Enjoy while you can.  When you get old, you wear clothes to cover old body to not frighten people."
  


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Size Comparison

Mama Lai bought a new phone very similar to the phone that she had been using.  But she couldn't decide which phone was smaller and asked me:
"Are you in front of the computer?  Go look up my new phone and my old phone.  Which one is bigger?"
And I said "Don't you have both phones?  Why can't you just compare them and see?"  Mama Lai sighed:
"I'm too lazy!!  Use your imagination.  Put your brain to use."