Terrorists' Gift to TV

Mama Lai loves to watch television shows like NCIS, CSI, and LAW & ORDER.  After watching an evening of these TV shows with storylines about terrorism, Mama Lai said:

"Well if there was a good thing to come out of terrorism it would be that it gave a group of mean looking and unattractive actors jobs in Hollywood."

Papa Lai likes Quack

Papa Lai sent Duckie (my sister) and me a photo of a cute little stuffed animal duck that he bought in a gift store.  Papa Lai told us that he was gifting the adorable duck to my cousin's 10 year old daughter.  Duckie called me to rant that Papa Lai did not consider gifting her the duck since she's famously known for loving all things duck.

Papa Lai found out that Duckie was upset, and he winked at me and asked with a gleeful grin:

"How mad did I make her?  How loud did she quack?"

Setting an Example

When I return home for the holidays, Mama Lai puts the Lai household on a food lockdown and exercise regimen.  In my most return home, I lost 8 lbs in 11 days.  But I'm not the only one endures the pain and receives the benefit of such restraint.  Mama Lai said:

"You know when you're not home, every Wednesday and Friday I bring home yummy things to eat.  And now I run to the store and look at my yummies and say if I brought this home, what kind of example would I set for my daughter?  You suffer and I suffer with you!   We can do this together!"

Happy Mama's Day and thanks for tuning into this blog!  Please be good to your mamas -- you owe her your life!!

If I Won the Lottery...

Mama Lai was folding laundry when she turned to me and asked:

"You know if I won the lottery, you know what I would buy?"

I pondered the possibilities.  A new car?  A luxury vacation?  New TV with surround sound?

And my dear Mama Lai's answer?  Mama Lai sighed and said:

"I would buy a house where I could control the temperature and humidity so I could walk around the whole house naked at all times." 

Man's Underwear

Once I came home and Mama Lai combined my laundry with the family laundry.  When I got home, Mama Lai confronted me:

"Why do you have man's underwear in you clothes??!"

I may have been just as surprised, but as she waved the evidence in front of me, I laughed:

"Isn't that dad's underwear?  Didn't you do my laundry with yours?" 

Mama Lai looked at the underwear in her hands and in realizing her mistake said:

"You do your own laundry from now on."

"The Voice"

Mama Lai loves singing competition shows on television and made herself available to tune-in to the newest show this season, "The Voice".  As she watched the contestants take their turns in stage, she scoffed:

"These people talk about how it's their big shot and then they get on stage dressed like they just walked out of their house.  You would think they would go, spend a little money and put on something nice.  Even I know better."

My Favorite Foods

A friend and I went to visit Mama Lai and Papa Lai for a weekend.  The first night we were there, Mama Lai asked my friend what he usually likes to eat for breakfast, brainstorming the menu of items she would make for him the next morning.  When she started to leave without asking for my input, I pouted about not getting any of my favorite foods cooked for me.  Mama Lai turned around and said:

"I already know what you like to eat."

Mama Lai paused, smiled and winked at my friend:

"My daughter likes to eat very little."