Mating Signals

One day when we're on the phone, Mama Lai asked me:

"Are you giving men signals?"

 "What are you talking about?"

Mama Lai blurted out:

"Men need encouragement.  You are very intimidating.  You always have a mean expression on your face.  That will scare men away."

I feebly protested that I don't think anyone is scared of me, but Mama Lai insisted:

"You can look like a bitch sometimes.  You have to seem more..."

Mama Lai seemed to be searching for the right word and then she caught it:

"Inviting.  Open for business." 

 

Communicating with Papa Lai

The other day, I called Mama Lai's mobile phone and Papa Lai picked up.  Papa Lai enthusiastically said:

"Talk to me!"

So I started in on my day and he quickly became bored and interrupted:

"Actually, why don't you talk to your mother.  I will get the summary from her later.  Or, why don't you e-mail me?" 

Disappointment and Heartache

One evening, I felt inadequate of Mama Lai's love and I apologized to her for never getting a PhD, not becoming a doctor or lawyer, never learning to play piano, getting average grades in school, and not getting her the Cadillac I promised.  Mama Lai patted me on the head and said:

"You know, it's ok?  You turned out to be a good kid.  All my children are good kids.  You are not disappointing to me.  We only hope for the best, want our kids lives to be easier."

And as she kept looking at me, she changed her mind:

"Well maybe the only heartache you give me is your weight." 

Korean Men

I told Mama Lai one of my friends was going to set me up with Korean.  Mama Lai paused:

"I don't think Koreans like Chinese people.  I try to be friendly to them and they treat me like I have a disease."

And then she added:

"You know in those Korean dramas we like to watch, Korean husbands are abusive to their wives." 

In the Land of Men

I haven't lived anywhere near Mama Lai and Papa Lai for the past 14 years.  In passing, I mentioned to Mama Lai that one of my friends in San Francisco suggested I move to the Bay Area, which would bring me closer than I have ever been to them.  Mama Lai thought about it and that she thought it was a great idea.  I teased Mama Lai:

"I didn't realize you missed me so much and want me to move closer."

Mama Lai said:

"Not really.  But there's more men in San Francisco.  That can only be a good thing for you."

The Gift of Song

I like to sing along to the radio especially when I drive.  After one such session with Mama Lai in the car, I lamented that Mama Lai did not bless me with the gift of song.  Mama Lai remembered:

"When you were five or six and started to go to church, they would lead everyone in song.  You didn't know how to sing, but you would get so into the music that you would just shout the words at the top of your voice.  And the Sunday school teachers didn't know what to do.  You weren't singing, but you did it with such enthusiasm."

And then she paused and laughed at me:

"And some things always stay the same." 

Danger to Society

I admit that I was a handful as an adolescent and went through a miserable period filled with angst, anxiety and insolence.  I often apologize to Mama Lai and Papa Lai for my poor behavior.  Once, Mama Lai said:

"There was a time I thought the only way that you should be allowed outside our house was inside a locked tower in a castle.  Thank goodness you matured and it didn't' come to that."