Conception

On my birthday, I was in the car with Mama Lai and Papa Lai, running errands, when Papa Lai turned to me, grinned and asked:

"Daughter...would you like us to show you where you were conceived?"

"Ewww, no." I said, disgusted and then Mama Lai chimed in, laughing:

 "Yeah, you are old enough to know where babies come from.  We don't have to have a conversation about the birds and the bees with you, do we?"

The two howled in laughter at their own joke.  And I cannot believe that after three decades of life, Mama Lai and Papa Lai still know how to make me feel humiliated even when no one else is around!

Ageism

I've been making some progress on a new diet and Mama Lai was very excited.  Mama Lai said:

"You are doing so good!  Look you only have a few years left!  When you turn 35, you might as well be 40.  It's all the same after 35."

The Power of Tom Selleck

I recently interrupted Mama Lai while she was watching "Jesse Stone: Innocents Lost".  Mama Lai complained:

"It's so slow.  Sometimes boring.  And it's all very depressing..."

As Mama Lai got deep into her complaining, I suggested that she watch something else.

"No.  I have to watch.  He's Tom Selleck.  He is...Magnum P.I." 

 

Marriage Solves All

I was lamenting to Mama Lai that when I move I might not see some of my friends for a very long time and how much I will miss them.  Mama Lai said:

"That is life.  You move on with your life and then a year passes, then maybe two year passes.  Then many years pass and then you have not spoken to them.  Maybe you forget their name, and then you don't recognize what you look like.  And then you start to even forget the memory.  Ugh.  Getting old is a terrible thing."

Then registering my look of sadness, Mama Lai tried to console me:

"It's ok my beautiful daughter.  You will lose 20 pounds, find a good husband and lead good life." 

Happiest Place on Earth

When Duckie was three years old and I was nearly six, Mama Lai and Papa Lai took us on a trip to Disneyland Resorts in Anaheim, CA.  That was a memorable trip for both me and Duckie, but when Mama Lai recalls that family vacation, this is what she remembers:

"Yah, we spent so much money bringing whole family to Disneyland.  Then on our way out of Disneyland we stop by McDonald's and you and your sister were even happier at the playground at McDonald's.  So excited, in a better mood!  We even took picture because everyone was so happy.  We stayed at McDonald's for over 2 hours.  Why we drive so far?  We have McDonald's down the street from us!"

Birthday Gift

My birthday is next week and Mama Lai said:

"Oh it's a special day!  We can do anything you want!  What do you want to do for your birthday, my girl?"

And I brightly responded:  "Anything???"

And Mama Lai smiled and said:

"Anything that doesn't involve eating.  How about we fast for your birthday?  That will be my gift to you - no eating on your birthday!"

Then Mama Lai walked out of the room, humming a  little song and raising the roof.  

 

Bake Off

Once upon a time, I really enjoyed baking.  I would make cakes, cookies and bread from scratch.  When I went home for the holidays, I tried to convince Mama Lai to let me bake something for our extended family.  But Mama Lai didn't like the idea of me being near butter or sugar and forbade me from purchasing such goods.  I tried to convince Mama Lai that baking makes me a better prospect for marriage. Mama Lai said:

"You know what would make you even more attractive?  You don't make something delicious, but you become something delicious by losing 30 or 40 pounds."