Happy Birthday Mama Lai!

Today is Mama Lai's Birthday!  Please send your happy birthday wishes here.

Mama Lai found out that JCPenney gave customers receive an additional 15% off during their birthday month.  So the first weekend of November, Mama Lai decided to treat herself and go shopping.  Mama Lai called me from this store:

"You know I haven't been to JCPenney for very long time.  But I find out about the birthday coupon and I have to come BUT..."

And then Mama Lai trails off.  I find out that she went to a secluded corner to avoid being overheard:

"But the clothes here are so...hideous.  Even their furniture is so...ugly." 

Sorry JCPenney!  But Mama Lai did end up buying a solid colored down comforter for $60, the original price of which was over $100.  She was quite proud. :) 

Papa Lai Will Work for Free Coffee

Papa Lai is retired.  He's had a lot of spare time on his hands so he and my Uncle (one of Mama Lai's many brothers) who is also retired have been spending time working on repairs for each other's houses.  They go to Home Depot a lot for supplies.  Papa Lai wrote the family an e-mail asking for our opinion:

"Your Uncle gave me this terrific suggestion.  Outside of Home Depot there's a crowd of Mexicans standing around looking for work.  He suggested that he and I do the same thing, stand outside Home Depot and wait for a job.  He said we can drink free Home Depot coffee while we wait.  I don't know.  Do you think anyone would hire me as a laborer?  What do you think?  Should I learn Spanish?"

Not Cute Anymore

Last weekend Mama Lai was waxing nostalgic and going through some old photos from when I was just baby.  

"You were so cute back then."

Then I joked, "What happened, huh?"

Mama Lai replied:

"You learned to talk."

Papa Lai Bewitched

This story provides support to Mama Lai's allegation that Papa Lai believed he "hit gold" when he met Mama Lai.

Papa Lai is now retired.  With all the free time he had on his hands, he decided that he was going to pick out animal avatars for his family.  My sister was easy -- she could be a duck, I would be a penguin.  My brother could be either a frog or dolphin and Papa Lai was "obviously" a turtle.  But he couldn't quite figure out what Mama Lai's avatar should be and turned to his three ducklings for help:

"What should your mother be?"

Duckie, was the first to answer, demonstrating without a doubt that she is Mama Lai's spawn stating, without reservation:

"She should be a teradactyl...or a sabre tooth tiger." 

Papa Lai was almost indignant:

"No, no.  You mother is so gentle...like a dove."

How Mama Lai Gets Her Way

Mama Lai is famous in our family for a strong dislike for reading.  It never occurred to her it was hypocritical given that she complains that her ducklings do not read enough and that we're "wasting our brains."  Whereas Papa Lai will spend hours on the weekend at the library, the closest Mama Lai gets to the library is dropping her family off and picking them up. 

Mysteriously, Mama Lai told me she decided to pick up a copy of a book that she heard just came out, Iris Chang’s book “The Rape of Nanking” and suggested I read it.   When I came home one holiday she wanted to know what I thought, what I learned and as we discussed the book it became clear to me that Mama Lai didn't really read the book. Then Mama Lai confessed:

“I read beginning of book and then I get impatient.  So then I read the end.  You like to read so then you can tell me if I missed anything good.”

Feeling like I had just been conned into being a walking and talking cliff notes for Mama Lai, I protested and told her I thought she should read it from beginning to end and that she was setting a bad example for her children.

And Mama Lai says, what she always says when me or any of her other ducklings complains about doing something for her:

"I am your mother.  You owe me your life." 

Mama Lai's Culpability

Being the good sister than I am, I told Duckie what Mama Lai said about her "squawking" and "turning into a popsicle" and then posted it.  Then  Duckie confronted Mama Lai about it the next day:

"I heard you said I squawk like a bird."

"What?  I talked to no one about you today."

"What about yesterday?"

"Too long ago, not responsible for that."

The Pricetag for One of Mama Lai's Ducklings

Duckie (aka my sister) sent Mama Lai an article about a Florida woman who was arrested for allegedly trying to sell her 8 week old son for $9,000.  Mama Lai said:

"Ha...wow!  Babies actually worth that much?! I will be satisfied for 5000 dollars."