Empty Nest Syndrome?

This year I flew to the East Coast to spend Thanksgiving with my sister.  A friend asked me whether Mama Lai would be sad that her two daughters wouldn't be spending the holiday with her.  I decided to put that question to Mama Lai and she said:

"I feel like this is trick question.  I'm not sad at all...your brother is coming home!  I'm so excited."

 (to my friend:  Told you!)

And just in case she didn't understand the question I asked her again whether she felt like it would be better if all of her kids were home for Thanksgiving, Mama Lai said:

"I get to see all three of you at Christmas.  So much work taking care of all of you.  I hope you guys don't make a mess in my house."

 

Hopelessly Not Charming

One summer during college I returned home boyfriend-less.  Papa Lai was disappointed and one day, out of the blue, came into the kitchen where I was with Mama Lai and said:

"Maybe we should send our eldest to charm school."

I protested and asked what charm school even was, but my presence and thoughts were completely ignored.  Mama Lai replied:

"If that's what we're relying on, then I think it's hopeless."

 

Mama Lai says "We Could Never be Friends"

I came home from my first visit to China really excited about Hong Kong and Chinese cinema.  I brought a grip of VCDs and DVDs back, thinking that Mama Lai would enjoy them since we grew up watching Chinese serials.  I popped in Wong Kar-Wai "Chungking's Express" and during the movie Mama Lai begged for me to turn it off.

"He [Tony Leung] is talking to a bar of soap.  This is nonsense."

I pouted and said that this is one of my favorite movies.  And I thought it was sweet and romantic.  Mama Lai gave me a "look" and said:

"God made us love our children so much that we would never see any harm come to them.  But I think if I was not your mother we could never be friends."   

A Lesson on Boys

One summer when I was a teenager I returned home from a week long church camp.  I was high off of the word of God and some workshops where some conservative and spiritual woman talked about love and marriage.  I returned home, excited to share what I learned with Mama Lai and some personal goals:

"I'm not going to kiss anyone until the day I get married!"

Mama Lai started to laugh and then she was laughing so hard she had to sit down and motioned for me to get her a glass of water.  When she finally calmed down, she looked me in the eye:

"You know your boyfriend is going to want to do a whole lot more than kiss you, right?"

When Papa Lai came home that night, Mama Lai said:

"Do you want to know what YOUR daughter said to me?"

And Papa Lai and Mama Lai had a cozy laugh at their naive teenage daughter's expense.

Gentle as a Dove

Duckie and I related a story to Mama Lai how someone told us that if he had to choose between setting his girlfriend on fire and saving the world, he would set his girlfriend on fire.  Mama Lai said that if she were asked to make the same choice:

"I would set Papa Lai on fire for one of those Japanese mochi balls."

 Oh Papa Lai, your Mama Lai is so gentle, gentle as a dove.

Duckie feigned shocked and Mama Lai p'shawed her and said:

"Don't talk.  You would set a boyfriend on fire for a candy bar."

The Skeletons in Papa Lai's Closet

When Mama Lai got the e-mail about the possibility that her hubby, Papa Lai  was going to stand outside Home Depot schlepping for work so he can drink free Home Depot coffee, her only concern was finding out that he drank coffee:

"Now I know your daddy was drinking coffee!  I thought he never touched the stuff.  Another similar thing happened also about 7 or 8 years ago.  One day your daddy suddenly told me he needs changes [change] to get pepsi from machine at work (he was drinking pepsi everyday at work!).  I was so surprised.  Because he never asked for pepsi or soft drink at home.  Hmm, I wonder what else I do not know about your daddy..."

Oh the secrets and lies!   'fess up Papa Lai -- what other illicit beverages are you drinking?!

Happy Birthday Mama Lai!

Today is Mama Lai's Birthday!  Please send your happy birthday wishes here.

Mama Lai found out that JCPenney gave customers receive an additional 15% off during their birthday month.  So the first weekend of November, Mama Lai decided to treat herself and go shopping.  Mama Lai called me from this store:

"You know I haven't been to JCPenney for very long time.  But I find out about the birthday coupon and I have to come BUT..."

And then Mama Lai trails off.  I find out that she went to a secluded corner to avoid being overheard:

"But the clothes here are so...hideous.  Even their furniture is so...ugly." 

Sorry JCPenney!  But Mama Lai did end up buying a solid colored down comforter for $60, the original price of which was over $100.  She was quite proud. :)