Got you in Beijing!

I was having a gloomy day at the office when I walked to the convenience stand on the ground floor of my building where you'll find me weekly buying gum and yoghurt.  Feeling rebellious and in the need for a pick-me-up I wanted to buy some custard cakes and the sales lady says to me:

"Shouldn't eat cakes.  Will make you fat!  And then what a disappointment you would be to your mother."

And I just have to know Mama Lai, how in the world did you get to my convenience store lady!!

I walked away with some healthy yoghurt instead.  

Facebook Food Stalking

Mama Lai was Facebook stalking me and send me this e-mail:

"I saw your post in facebook. You went to have  hotpot. Are you watching what you eat everyday? Try not to ruin your weight losing goal because of food. Not saying not to have fun time with friends. Just not to eat too much, not oily, no pasta or rice.

Ok, ok....I am nagging again.
Running away really fast...."

Backwards Compliment

I was tickled when a salesgirl guessed my age and guessed much younger than I am.  But Mama Lai was of a contrary belief:

"Maybe not such a good thing.  May mean you don't look sophisticated enough."

Who Moved His Cheese?

Mama Lai and I were wandering around a museum and we came across this piece:

And Mama Lai put a hand on her hip and demanded:

"What is this meaning of this?!  Why is he looking for cheese?"

She took one last quizzical glance and said to me:

"Well the weird guy is left handed.  That much I know." 

Head-to-Toe

Mama Lai looked down at her painted toe nails and remarked:

"You know, I always thought the best looking part of me are my toes.  I look down at my feet and I admire them.  But then I think, why couldn't it reverse, good head instead of good feet."

Skinny Dumpling

Mama Lai and I were preparing dumplings and she laughed at my the shape of my dumplings:

"If only you were as skinny as the dumplings you make, we would have no problems!"

Papa Lai should be Grandpapa Lai

Papa Lai took a morning stroll outside my apartment building and ran into a mother and a cute toddler.  The mother, in Chinese, told her little one to wave shake hands with her "grandfather neighbor" and Papa Lai returned to my place grumpy:

"I was just 'Uncle'!  When did I become a grandfather???"

And then he pouted at me:

"Already called grandfather and you haven't given me any grandkids!"