The Naked Masseur

During a trip to China, I decided to get a massage.  Three quarters into my session, the masseur decides to strip off his clothes and offer himself up to me, stark naked.  In the aftermath, I called Mama Lai expecting shock, maybe even outrage.  Instead, Mama Lai laughed:

"What?? How did that happen?  I think they only would give services like that to older women.  You must not have been wearing any make-up -- they accidentally took you for an older woman with needs! Hahahaha." 

America, the Land of Tolerance and Acceptance

Mama Lai called me a few weeks before a business trip to China to implore me to shed 10 lbs:

"Americans are very tolerant and accepting.  You a little overweight, but you dress nice and put on a little make-up, they will call you beautiful and forgive you.  But China is not the same as America.  They look at you and will think you are a person lazy, with no accomplishment."

Mama Lai's Brand of Terrorism

 Although Mama Lai is proud to be American, she's very protective of her Chinese heritage and roots.  Mama Lai loves to talk about how the Chinese has a superior culture and a richer history than the United States.  From language to manufacturing, from academics to their recent economic boom, Mama Lai has sung the praises of her Chinese people.  And when she's run out of practical examples, she will make up hypotheticals "If the Chinese had done/invented/created it, then it would be successful/better/efficient/etc."  The latest area where Mama Lai thinks the Chinese would be superior to their worldwide counterparts?  Terrorism.

As we were driving around, she noted how vulnerable our country was:

"Look around -- how easy would it be for terrorists to bring this country down.  Sometimes I look around and I think terrorists these days must be really stupid if they haven't figured out how to kill or injure us.  It's a good thing Chinese people have not taken to terrorism against this country, because if they did, they would do it so well we would have no country left."